So, I work now in the non-profit sector, a big change from my NYC days of uber capitalism working IT for shady hedge funds or worker bee hell as a consultant.  Now before anyone says, "wow, what great work you do," bear in mind that I'm support.  I'm the IT Manager which means that in the morning I step off BART, walk through the quickly changed demographic of our neighborhood and after passing the huddled and pathetic masses I walk up two flights and into my office.  It has a door and the door locks and I share my floor with the executive staff.  The clients seldom come up here and when they do they're lost (well, they're always lost within the greater context of society and metaphorically, but when they're on 3 they usually want some other floor for some service which we as an organization provide but which I as an individual do not really help with).

That being said.  It's the holiday season.  People everywhere are crowding the malls (don't get me started on malls) and buying crap for people who probably don't need or want the crap that they've picked out just to be sucked into some store and buy themselves a little something they don't really need to justify spending money on people they don't really like all that much.  That's just the shit part of it, though, on the plus side, it's the time of year when everyone gives a shit.  It's like valentine's day for the poor.  Maybe it's because it's cold (well, as cold as CA gets), maybe its to curb their guilt, but people give and donate their time and help their fellow man.

Because of this influx of generosity we give out bags of groceries.  Loaves of bread, cans of vegis, probably enough food for a family to have between one day (fat fucking poor families, don't get me started) and a week.  And it's a success!  There's a line that wraps back and forth more times than an amusement park going through our parking lot and then it takes up half the sidewalk down the block.  Then it goes up the street.  Then it goes back down the block, and then it finally ends where it starts.  That's between 5000 to 10000 bags served, all before noon.

Wow!  Hooray for us.  We fed 10,000 to 30,000 people today, probably more.  But what really doesn't sit well with me is how America is supposed to be a "Super Power" and yet we don't care enough for our poor to provide them enough food at the holidays.... or the rest of the year. 

Honestly, I wish there was no line.  I wish we were able to swing open our doors and say, "free food!" and have maybe 12 people come in and say, "eh, I'm full, but why not.  Maybe I can find someone who needs this back in my neighborhood."  And honestly, I think that's how most decent people would like to see the world if they really thought about it.  It would be nice to not walk over the homeless and pretend they don't exist, nice to think that we as a society could take a couple hours out of our weeks and donate to hand out enough food to feed those who can't feed themselves.

It's strange to be in an industry whose success is measured by the overwhelming failure of a society to provide for its people at a fundamental level.  The higher our numbers, the better the nation is doing at pretending this problem doesn't exist.

I guess it begs the question, "what could we have done domestically with the money spent on Iraq?"  Could we have paid down instead of doubling our national debt?  Could we have paid our school teachers enough to live within the communities they serve?  Could we have implemented and funded universal health care that focuses not on the needs of insurance companies, but on the needs of the patient?  Could we have killed the Olsen twins and given Brittney back her sanity?  Could we have hired architects with vision and good ideas for our great buildings?  Could we have implemented high speed rail nationally and funded solar research?  Cured cancer?  Figured out how to make air travel comfortable and affordable? 

Oh, the list and how it does go on.  Ah, to have a dream.  I had a dream.... no really, it was kind of like a cross between harry potter and the subtle knife... no, not that dream, um, yeah.

So here's to you non profit sector for helping out and depressing the shit out of me.